Missing Something Badly ................

When I see things around me, I feel like I am missing something’s which I always wanted, I feel like I have given up many things to see people around me happy. I feel like I am trying to adjust and survive. But this is not me; I want to live my life I don’t want to survive. I am not saying that I am not happy but somewhere deep down I know I am missing something badly. I never want my life to be this way.

At one hand I am very happy to have someone who is so loving, caring, understanding, supporting, always ready to do anything just to see a smile on my face.I feel I am lucky to have someone like him in my life who respects me for the person I am.Really feel it’s a blessing to have him in my life, he is one person who makes me believe in myself. I don’t know what I would have done without him.

And on the other hand I really don’t know why I am missing something badly.This is making me depress at times. I have to make myself believe that I am happy and things are fine, but deep down there is something which haunt me everyday.
Life seems to become still, just office and home sometime dinner and sometime shopping.

When I look back, I feel that, this in not what I planed or dreamt for…..This is not the way I have thought about my life and there are still so many things I want to do, many things I want to learn and experience.
: ?

Why blame others when I myself have been so callous!

Where was I when justice was not served to those who died in the 1993 bomb blasts
Where was my voice when the train blasts took place in 2005 and our forces were not capable of tracking the perpetuators
Where was I when they tried dividing me on my religion and place of residence

Where was I when the politicians knocked on my door for votes and I avoided going to polls
Where was I when criminals were appointed as MLA’s & MLC’s for elections
Why did I turn a Blind eye when they gave money for votes

Why did I let them bully others at gunpoint to cast votes in their favour
Where is my voice when I know the roads I travel might cripples someone’s back
Where is my voice when the lights go out of my house, coz my taxes are meant for those who default on payments

Why did I not raise my voice against the injustice being perpeteated
Why am I not conscious that the common man’s back is broken awaiting justice from the courts
Where was I when judiciary stands in defence of criminals coz it say a man is not guilty till proven by law

Why do I tolerate to hear that you have to bribe someone to get justice in court
Why do I tolerate the fact that some among the judiciary is corrupt
Where is my voice when the industrialist bribes bureaucrats to get his work done

Where is my voice when he grabs others land to sow his vision of tomorrow
Where is my voice when they pollute the atmosphere and I turn a blind eye
This nation does not need leaders, it needs each of us to be shaken from our stupor

What’s inked in the constitution is forgotten by those who uphold the offices and our so called people’s representatives
We have all taken the freedom fought for by our forefather’s as a granted thing

Maybe all we need is another freedom movement, to cure the evil from within
To the forefront has to come leaders in the form of those educated people who give sermons living in their glass houses but are not willing to sacrifice their comforts as long as it does not scar them.

By- Nidhi Sidharthan

Still feeling scared

What happened in past few days was something which I won’t be able to forget in my life. I have never felt so scared before.I am a person who is born and bought up in Manipur, India, a place where terrorists, naxals and rebels create lots of problems. But seeing what just happened in Mumbai, I really feel sad, insecure and helpless.

I always use to think that Mumbai is a safe place and I am very much secure out here.
Here I am just writing of what I felt about the whole thing, which happened. But I just can’t imagine about the people who lost their near and dear ones and also those people who have witnessed the terror. Will they ever be able to come out of it???
It’s really very sad.

I really wish if we can do something instead of blaming others or blaming the politicians (remember, at the end of the day its we who vote for the politicians.) If the politicians are wrong then we are also wrong in choosing the right person.

And what does the page 3 crowd meant by saying that they are not safe even inside a 5 Star hotel, does that meant that safety should be only for 5 Star hotels.Why are we not talking about the crowd who lost their lives in CST station?

Even if the Government had got warnings from Intelligence, is it necessary that we should be protected only when somebody warns us? Why can’t we be protected all the time, so that the other person shouldn’t even think of attacking us at any point in time?
:?

At some point of time life seem so unfair.

Year have gone by, things are not same anymore with people whom I think are my closest of friends. They no more understand me the way they used to. I used to feel that I am among those, who are blessed with such good friends. Maybe with time people are prioritizing their needs and requirements. It's so stupid of me to think that they are still the same as they were before.

New friends comes in but old friends are still the best friends. It feels a bit ok when a new friend betray me, but when a friend who is so close hurts me, then it feel so bad like hell. Because when I didn't had anyone in my life, they were there to share things. The feeling that they don't trust you anymore is so scary. And it's so stupid of me to think that they are still the same as they were before.

At times the feeling of love is so strong that it gives you some kind of positive vibe as well as some form of energy where you feel that being in love is the best feeling. To feel there is someone who is always there for me no matter what, make me so confident in life. And at that point of time when I realize that the person is not bothered, life seems so unfair. The pain it gives is not something which can easily heal...
:(

Dear Friend, I miss you lots..

Met one of my dearest friend after a long time.

She was my college friend, who came from Chennai. She is going to UK for further studies.

She came to Mumbai to meet us.

Took a day off from office but that one day was not enough, so on the second day also I took half day from office just to meet her again. I don't know when I will see her again, so didn't want to miss the chance at all.

She is one of the best friends of mine and a gem of a person; I am not saying this because she is my friend. It's so difficult to find a person like her. I guess I am lucky.
She is one person you can always depend on. She is always there for all her friends with that sweet smile of her, to hug you and to make you feel that no matter what, she is your best friend. She is always jolly, making everyone around laugh. Even if you are with her for the first time, she will make you feel as if she knows you for years. She has best collection of shoes which I envy. Her dressing sense will impress you. She can be a girl next door, a sexy lady and sometime just causal, crazy about shopping just like me.

From the time she left Mumbai we hardly call each other, still our friendship is so strong that even if we meet after six months everything seems the same. The way we use to talk, giggles, always confuse where to go for lunch then shopping. Update about each other.

When I left Bangalore for Mumbai I use to miss my friends so much and at that point of time I didn't had any friends in Mumbai.

Now I feel I am going through same phase again.
Everyone says good time never last long but good friends are forever.

Friendship is one such relationship which is so pure and makes life so beautiful.
She is one such friend who adds colors in my life making it a beautiful one.

I am going to miss her like hell.
:(

How important is to have someone special in my life

Life goes on with its ups and down. Sometimes a small thing make me smile to glory and sometime even a tiny thing bring tear in my eyes.

Life would have been the way it was… but..
But that one person's entry in my life gave a whole new meaning to my life. I am very romantic person and always believe in Love but never thought that this special person can change my entire world.

He came as a stranger, then a friend then a person whom I feel comfortable to share my feelings, like, dislikes. Then after that I start trusting him more than before and now he is someone who is very special for me.

It's easy to imagine what love is all about but when you actually fall for someone that's the time you realize how special the other person is.
Love is not a fairytale which I use to believe but it's not less then a fairy tale if you believe in the person you love.

The special person in my life is very special to me as he is my life itself.
I am a kind of person who can't just sit at home but now I don't care where I am as long as I am with him.

Every moment with him is moment to treasure.
It's not the place or not the gifts but it's the effort he put in for every small thing to keep me happy and smiling.

When you fall in love, it's the wish of other person which is more important to you rather then your own wish.
I thought I know so much about life and am quite mature to handle things but now I know what is life is all about.

Make your special one feel how special they are, the same they will make you feel.
They know that they are special but its equally important to show your emotion in action than just keeping quite.
:)

'May' for ME

It my Birthday this month, if not for anything else it’s special for me because it’s my birthday ;)
Start the month with shopping and more shopping, honestly I can’t count how much I shop this time. Was not able to meet any of my friends as final exam is from 9th May, all are busy studying on my birthday but was really happy to be with the one I love to be with.
I went to my favorite place also “Ishkon Temple’. I love going there, feel so peaceful.

Actually I had quite a memorable birthday or should I say lovely birthday…
Last year I was so happy with the bouque Minx sent but this year, I got more then I deserve. I love to feel special and birthday always make me feel special. And this time it’s all because of him. No one has ever tried so much to impress me, no one has ever made me feel so special the way he make me feel. And yes I am impressed.

I went out for dinner to a new place “Blue Frog” where there Live band playing. But I love the ambience more, it’s amazing. I had nice time out there. It was a wonderful day for me.

Change doesn’t mean always negative or always positive. But yes, a person can change your life completely. I have experience both the side of it. I am sharing this with my own personal experience. Things end and things start. We are just left with experiences, at times it’s really difficult to understand and go on but still life goes on. And to go with the flow is the only options.

:)

Certain kind of people....

In life, when I feel that there is nothing much I can do now.
Knowingly or unknowingly certain people walk into my life… ,
which almost change my attitude towards life in a positive way
or in a way which I think was not possible or atleast very difficult.

These people are the one who made the world a better place by just being in it
Certain kind of people…. who always end up doing somethings which make big difference in the life of others.
People…. who always think about others first before they think about themselves

Sometimes they don't even know how much happiness and hope they give to others by just being themselves.
These are people who never have to work hard for being good or nice to anybody.
In short they are nice human being.

They are like sunlight in my gloomy days.
They shine on to the corners of the heart
Its not their presence which brings meaning to life but the way they touches my heart that gives a beautiful meaning.

Wishing a very Happy Birthday to one such person...
:)

For My ValentinE

With you I don’t need any special day to celebrate my Love
But I don’t want to miss any occasion to celebrate it
I don’t need any special treatment on this special day
Because being with you is the most special treatment for me

With you, I came to know the real meaning of life
Happy little memories go flitting through my mind
I have even experience the pain in Love being with you
So, the love we share is real and true as life itself

Distances sometimes take away my smile
But just the thought that you are with me
Brings my smile back on my face
In my thoughts and memories

I always seem to find the picture of your face,
The feel of your touch..
You cannot go beyond my thoughts or leave my love behind
Because I keep you in my heart and forever on my mind

I may not tell you
But every time I see you I fall in love again and again with you
And though I may not tell you
I think you know it’s true that I find daily happiness

In the very thought of you
You make my life complete and worth
I love being with you

Happy Valentine’s Day my Love

:)

2007 FoR mE

Got one of the best gifts of my life which is only mine. Have gone through many ups and down but what matter is that we are still together. This is one reason which makes 2007 special for me. I won’t say is a merry ride but I learned a lot this year.

Valentine’s Day is always special to me but this year it’s memorable just because i got to know the real meaning of Valentine’s Day. It was quite a nice day for me spent time with my college friends, my best friend and my sweetheart.

I am happy that I am able to make my final decision about something which been irritating me for so long. If things are never meant to happen there is no point in trying. I may have hurt the other person but I just can’t do anything.

There are two kinds of relationship in life, one is where you are forced by birth- like your uncle, aunt, cousin etc and the other ones are by choice -like your school friends, college friends etc. I can trust relation by choice but not the one by force. It really hurts when someone close ditch.

Yes my Birthday, I won’t say it was great but it was good. Nothing much happened, went out with my friends. The only thing which made my Birthday special was because of ‘HIM’, he was far from me but was with me from the start of the day till the end.

Got to know more about someone and the relation become stronger day by day (touch hood) ;) what shall I write about him, he is the best. He shows me the real meaning of Love, if I still believe in love, its all because of him. If I am wrong he won’t take it lightly, he will shout and try to change to make me a better human being. Love is not just Hindi movies love story. In any kind of relationship you have to work hard to make it happy and strong, you just can’t take it for granted.

I am very particular about making friends so I have few good friends but this year I got to add some more names in my good friend list. One being Arun Gokul and another Ameet, Ajay, then Pratik, Salomi, Priti, Fisher. Really like to thank them for being there for me in my ups and downs. This year I had to go through many downs in life. So if I am smiling today after going through all these things, it’s because of them. Friends worth keeping till the end.

Trip to Shirdi “Sai Baba”, was one of the most memorable trip which I will treasure whole life. I felt I am really blessed; I was there for aarti for half an hour. I was with the person whom I love the most that too in such a holy place. What more could I ask for…

It’s really good to get back good friends after some stupid misunderstanding, and the best part being that we are still the same. I am really happy that he is back in my life as my best friend ever. I say best friend because nobody knows me better then him. He is one person you understand me completely and maybe the only person who will say sorry even if it’s my faults. Thanks for coming back in my life.

Lastly, trip to Goa. That’s the closing event for me in 2007 and an opening of a new chapter in my life. Got to be with some very important people which will be more important with time. It’s just the start. Long way to go. And one thing which I learned, dreams do come true but you should never expect that, it will turn out the way you dreamt.

:)